It’s been a weird road so far, but listening to everyone else, I feel insanely lucky.
In May 2010 I noticed a bruise on my arm – like a black and blue mark, but with red dots on it. Overtime the dots and general color have faded – it looks kind of grayed-out and a little flaky like dead skin. A piece was biopsied in late August, and in mid-September the results came back as “not good”. Within 24-hours I had gotten bloodwork done, gone over a full medical history with my new pediatric oncologist, and met with the plastic surgeon who’ll take out the whole lump for more testing.
Now, about three weeks later, I’ve had a CAT-scan, PET-scan, and bone marrow biospy (on both sides. ow. and a sleepover just as the pain’s going away? bad idea.) and the surgury’s coming up in 5 days. The words “Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma” have been thrown around, but nothing else specific.
I don’t have any symptoms other than the lump (well, anything noticable. what teen isn’t tired after a sleepover and then a week of early wake-ups for school?), there isn’t anything anywhere else in my body, not even my marrow. The spot itself isn’t even that bright on the scans – which my doc says means it’s not very aggressive.
Hopefully, it’ll have clean lines in sugery – which means that they got all of it. If that’s not the case – or they decide to just go ahead and do more treatment – I don’t know what I’ll do.
Right now it’s all very surreal. I avoid the words “cancer” and “tumor”. Mostly, I go to school, my dance classes, and my youth group events. I haven’t memorized the hospital yet, and only my close friends know.
I’m trying to figure out how to deal. Right now I’m just going on with my normal life, waiting for all of this to catch up with me.