Just one of those days :/

I wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, from which I’ll never part.……God has you in his arms, I have you in my heart!

I lost two of my best friends to cancer. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about them. I lost one of them about 6 years ago when we were both 10. One day she just stopped coming to school. Then I found out what happened. I was crushed to know that my best friend was gone. I was just starting to come through when I got diagnosed 2 years ago with cancer. I met two of my best friends through having cancer.

I went through treatment last summer with one of them. We were in the hospital together and got to spend alot of time together. So many memories. Then he got so sick and couldnt fight anymore. He passed away the day after Christmas this last year. It has been a very hard 6 months. It has not been the same. I feel so empty. :(

I know that they are watching over me. I know they would be proud that I have fought cancer and beat it! I just wish I could have one more moment with them.

RIP Matthew and Brittany. You are both greatly missed and loved. You are always in my heart. <3

June 5, 2010 by  
Filed under Community

  • hannah

    honey i soo know how you feel! I had an amazing group of about ten friends, and onlt three of us are left, one of them though i hav no contactc with because she is from a different country so im not positive.one of them, was my first crush.. i call him my first love, coz he was, i adored him and because he lived in a different country we emailed everyday, soon he stopped emailing, his mum told me he was studying for an exam, we went over there for a holiday and saw him, mum said he looked great but i said to mum, ‘no, his smile didnt reach his eyes’, he had the most beautiful smile and his eyes always sparkled. sure enough, a few weeks later i got an email saying he had died, his cancer came back. sad thing is, when they went back to fiji, his dad left them and then died and he blamed it on himself and almost just lost the will to fight…. my other friends were all very young, i was ten and had a knack with kids, they were all under 7, apart from my crush…. if you ever need to talk my email is hannah1996@optusnet.com.au
    i will always be here if you need me!

    • Domi

      Thanks Hannah! It means alot. Matthew was my best friend. We kept each other going when we were in the hospital together. When he passed away, I blamed myself for about two months because I felt like I wasnt 100 percent there for him. I had to realize that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan…even if we dont know what is coming.
      It has been hard but I keep myself busy so that I dont think about him not being here. Its hard. Just certain little things make me think of him. People say the pain will get easier over time but im not so sure if thats true. we will see. I just hope that I will leave an impact on people the way Matthew left an impact on me.
      I just thank God everyday that I am still here and thank Him for the friends that are still here with me. I know that I wouldnt have made it without their love and support.
      If you need to talk, my email is survivordomi@yahoo.com
      (: Domi

©2009 Teens Living with Cancer. All Rights Reserved.