I wish things were normal.

I wish things were normal again.
I wish I could go back.
To the way things were,
Before this.
Before the war.

Before, when I could run a mile without gettingĀ  tired,
compared to now, when I can’t make it up the stairs without getting winded.
Before, when I could kiss my sweet sweet Ashley without a second thought.
compared to now, when she’s afraid to spread germs to me, because my immune system went to crap.

Back when I spent my afternoons playing football, and soccer.
Compared to now, when I spend my afternoons asleep, or taking treatments.
Back when I stayed out until after curfew, and spent my weekend nights on dates.
Compared to now, when 8pm is late to go to sleep, and I can’t go on dates, because I’m puking.

Back when I aced every class, and was all honors.
Compared to now, when I never get to go to school, and my grades are dropping.
Back when I could afford to be carefree.
Compared to now, when I have to monitor every aspect of my life to stay alive.

Back when I left the house every day, and worked at Chick-fil-a.
Compared to now, when I never leave the house, and I had to quit my job.

Back to when I was healthy.
Compared to now, when I’m completely te opposide.

Oh. How I wish I could go back.

Back to when things were normal…

May 30, 2010 by  
Filed under Community

  • Cassidy

    Hey Caleb,
    I can’t relate because I don’t have cancer, but I find your story very intriguing. Your strength amazes me and being 16, I know it would be near impossible to go through what you are going through now. I hope things start getting better for you and there will be more positive things then negative. I would love to know more about you and your story, all of it amazes me. You seem determined, go kick some cancer butt :)


  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001044982533 Sarah Sparks

    hey i know what it feels like but dont’t worry its all going to be worth it when your cancer free and you can go back to the way your life was and 1 thing also nothing is ever normal its your life its part of who you are you have to just make the best of it

  • Tina

    Hi Caleb,
    It seems like you have been through a great deal, though I am not a cancer survivor mysself, I can relate due to me being a close family member of a cancer survivor. You story is intriguing, and keep optomistic, and I can see that you are determined and you can battle through cancer. Let my prayers bear with you. Remember, no matter how painful the treatment is, always be thankful that you are still alive and you can win the battle against cancer. :D


  • Eliana Pires

    Hey Caleb,

    So I know you probably don’t want to hear my bullshit about how I don’t know how it feels, because honestly I don’t. I had a Aunt pass away from cancer but I can’t even begin to think about what you are going through. I just graduated from my high school and I just can’t even imagine being in your situation.

    Truthfully I only found this site because I am at work researching cancer for my bosses upcoming movie where one of the kids have cancer. I saw your post and I had to just let you know that if I could I would do anything to take your pain away…even thou I don’t even know you..from what you say on your posts, it isn’t right that this happened to you.

    If you ever need someone to talk to just send over a email: eliananpires@gmail.com.

    <3 Eliana Pires

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=699435236 Troy Woods


    Your story sounds so similar to mine its scary. I think I am one person who can relate to you completely as we both have the same disease, and struggle with the same unfair side effects it brings. If you need to talk please feel free to email me, troywoods123@live.ca as I think we could both benefit from hearing each other out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1418506762 Sarah Sims

    You took the words right out of my mouth. Thats how i feel. wait till you get to maintence. things seem easyer, and im sure there will be times when you dont even know ur sick with cancer. :)

  • alexandra

    yeah you can e-mail me too if you want someone to talk to :) >>solo.n.me@hotmail.co.uk<<

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